Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
