They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
