dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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