well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
