I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
