She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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