you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize