and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
