just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I had to cum in my sink.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
