she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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