Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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