There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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