well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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