Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
