all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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