you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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