Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
