I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
