Swine flu. Run for my life!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
