dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
