Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
