quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
