remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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