I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize