if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
