She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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