Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
