Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
