Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I believe in your delicious
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
