you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
