I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
