You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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