It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
