She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
