He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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