Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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