Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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