Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
