She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
