I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
