I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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