let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
