just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Randomize
