I got chris browned last night
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
