I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
