so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
