It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
