Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
