we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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