I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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