and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
