Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Randomize
