I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
What drink are we having for lunch?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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