omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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