I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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