i already hear my dad disowning me
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
