I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
