bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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