it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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