remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
