3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
