I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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