I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
