Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
