Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
