I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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