never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
