Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
