so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
